My Immortal-- The Rewrite
by superpotterwholock11
Summary: We all know the infamous worst fanfiction ever- My Immortal. But what if someone tried to make it... good? That's what I'm trying to do. I'm taking the craziest, worst-written crackfic in existence and altering the plot ever-so-slightly so it makes sense... all wrapped up in what I hope is good writing. Please review! Rated M for future sexytimes.


My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. I realize it's a long name, it's actually sort of a curse. Lots of kids made fun of me for it at my muggle school, but the Slytherin students are a lot better... or more like I managed to scare them into not giving me any grief for it. I don't know why my parents named me such a ridiculously long name, with the glottal stop in Dark'ness and everything, but I try to make the most (or more like least) of it: most people just skip my seven billion middle names and call me Ebony Way.

I have long ebony-black hair (hence my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reach my mid-back. My eyes are icy blue, like crystal tears, a boy once told me. Like I gave a shit.

I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white and overall normal-looking. It makes me pretty much 24/7 incognito, whether I want to be or not. Most people figure it out when they see the vials of blood on my bedside table. I take one every morning and one every night, or the blood I lose in the hot sun is never replenished and I die of a varied form of dehydration. I have pale white skin most of the time, unless I've just drunk from one of my infamous vials.

Since vampires have a certain amount of magic by nature, the Ministry decided to just send all of us to Hogwarts too. Most got sorted into Slytherin without the hat thinking twice, but for some reason it thought I might do well in Ravenclaw. I'm pretty smart, I guess, but Old Sorty decided to put me in Slytherin instead. I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen), so I know a fair bit of spells now. I'm goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love The Black Angel (they recently opened a branch in Hogsmead, and the company president doesn't even know it. Sometimes I love magic) and I buy a good portion of my clothes from there.

So this is where the story begins. It's not exactly exciting so far, but I hope it'll get there with time. So... here we go!

I was walking outside Hogwarts, on the lawn by the Whomping Willow. I was a bit too close for comfort, but I estimated I was just about out of range. At least, it wasn't attacking me, so I kind of assumed I was good. It was snowing a rather wet snow, half-frozen ice plopping down everywhere, so naturally there was no sun. I was actually pretty happy about this. Darkness suits me. It can hide and protect a person, and as a vampire I'm designed to see in the dark, whereas most of my

"prey" are not. I don't actually hunt, but I still have the instinct. It's caused me quite a bit of trouble.

I heard some giggles behind me. Regular Hogwarts females, just as annoying as usual. I was about to turn around and tell them to shut up, when a much louder, more masculine voice from behind did it for me.

"Hey! Shut it before I tell my father you're all bullies and get you all expelled!"

Malfoy. Of course. He ran up to me, chucking a rock at the Ravenclaws along the way. I'm so glad I wasn't sorted into their house.

The majority of the girls screamed, worried the rock would ruin their time-consuming updos, but one was brave enough to yell back at Malfoy. "Next time you chuck a rock at us, Malfoy, I'll tell my own dad. He's on the board too, you ridiculous arsehat."

"Ooh, very scary," replied Malfoy in an equally nasally voice, flipping his platinum blonde hair in a terrible imitation of Cho. "I'm sure Boardmember Chang will have a LOT of influence on my father's vote."

Cho just sneered and walked off with her friends, obviously not wanting to take a chance on having Malfoy legitimately ruin her and her father's names around the board. He'd gotten Hannah Abbott expelled in her fourth year for accidentally setting his desk on fire in Charms, and Cho didn't care to risk it. Don't get me wrong, I hate the bitch, but I had to admire her for walking away from the fight. That's something I can never seem to do.

Pretty soon Malfoy had his arm around me as we walked, like he does to all the girls. He's kind of a player that way, but I'm cool with it. It's not like he's gonna rape me or anything.

"So, Ebony," he said. "The Weird Sisters are playing at the Three Broomsticks. Care to come with?"

I felt a warmth spreading through my cheeks. Had he seriously said that?!

"B'loody Mary and Diabolo are coming too. Maybe even Willow." he continued.

Oh. Now I get it. "Yeah, sure, I'll come. When are you guys leaving?"

He removed his arm from around my shoulder. "8:30 PM. Sharp. We plan to get dinner before it starts at ten. Bring money, or get someone to pay for you. See ya there," he said, walking away. I could feel my blush getting brighter. How could I have been so stupid? Draco Malfoy, ask ME to go to a concert with him? He's slept with three girls already, and it's not like I'm the perfect catch. He could have any Slytherin girl he wanted, why go for me? There's no reason for him to, that's why he didn't.

I walked closer to the tree, half-heartedly hoping it would whack my head and make me forget that that ever happened. I felt eyes on the back of my head. Cho and her friends had returned, but I didn't care. I just kept walking, walking, walking. Walk around the tree, across to the greenhouses, to the lake, then back to the castle. I walked and thought for the entire Study Hall. No homework to do, why bother sitting and pretending to study? Better to walk. Better to walk and think. But I didn't get much thinking done, as I was too preoccupied with hiding my blush and before I knew it I was back at the castle. So much for walking and thinking.


End file.
